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Love Hina Manga Extension Project (Chapters, with feedback)
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Elvis_Maximus (#66405)
AnimeNfo Peasant


Joined: 05 Jan 2005
Posts: 50
  Love Hina Manga Extension Project (Chapters, with feedback)
Sorry for the long post title, HOWEVER, I've decided that while I LOVE the ending to the Love Hina Manga, I would really like to see more and see what happened after the honeymoon, etc.


So, I decided to write a series of fanfics. Now, before you guys get all crazy on me, I do realize that these are (obviously) not as good as the original manga, (partially because there aren't any pictures >.<). But I'm trying my best, and I'll go back and revise previous chapters as my skill improves. I've completed chapter 1 of the project and I'm gonna post it up here. By the way, if your feeling motivated I'd love some help on writing these!



Please leave your feedback of what you thought.. and any encouragment would most definitly be welcome as well!





Anyway, here's chapter 1: enjoy!



Love Hina Manga Extension Project

Chapter 1
The Happiest Of Days

Who’d have thought, after all this time; after all the punches, the accidental viewings, that we’d finally end up together. And that my becoming a 2nd year ronin would bring us together. Hell, when I failed the second time, I thought that that’s it, my chance at happiness gone forever… until I met you.

“Keitaro? Earth to Keitaro… keep your eyes on the road!”

“W-what… OH MY GOD!” Keitaro exclaims as the van slowly drifts into oncoming traffic. Keitaro steers hard to the right, swirving back onto the right side of the road, “Sorry Naru, I.. uh…” he stammers. Naru looks at him slyly, “You weren’t thinking anything… perverted, were you?” “No, of course not!” he exclaims, making erratic defensive gestures.

“Good, I’d hate to think that my husband can’t stop being a pervert for even one day.” Naru declares. She looks out the window to her right, sighing softly. ‘I can’t even imagine my life without him, and to think that when we first met, I hated him.’ She looks back over at Keitaro, smiling brightly. ‘Its funny to be going back to Kyoto after all this time, and staying in the same room that we stayed in the last time we were there’ she thinks to herself, she blushes a soft red color ‘and tonight we’re finally going to… do ‘it’’

“Whats that look for Naru, youweren’t thinking of anything perverted just now were you?” Keitaro asks slyly, notcing Naru’s rather blank expression and flushed face. “N-no that’s.. that’s your specialty, you idiot..” Naru exclaims, smiling and winking at Keitaro. Keitaro blushes slightly, ‘Tonight is the night, we’ll finally get to do ‘it’’ he thinks to himself, a dumb smile coming over his face.

Wham… Keitaro gets punched right in the face; “Hey! What was that for!!” he exclaims. Naru looks skeptically out the other side window, replying “I know what that smile means.” Keitaro rubs his jaw tenderly, damnit, she’s always hitting me; even now that we’re married! But still, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

“K-Keitaro THAT’S OUR… OUR EXIT!!!” Naru exclaims frantically, pointing to the quickly passing exit.

“Naru, hold on!” Keitaro shouts as he steers hard towards the exit, the van spins 360 degrees, bounces off the side of the exit and flips through the air, cleanly landing on its wheels at the stop light. Keitaro sighs with relief, looking over at his bride, “That was quite the turn if I do say so myself. Ha ha ha…” SMACK “Oh god naru, what was that for!”

“I think its pretty obvious what that was for, you idiot! You nearly killed us!” Naru exclaims venemously, pouting ever-so-slightly.

“Naru… I’m sorry, but look, that is our hotel over there!” Keitaro points into the distance, towards a distant structure on a hill. “Remember last time we were there, when we ended up in the mixed baths?” Keitaro chuckles to himself as he remembers it. “Now that was a really close call… Naru, umm; hello?”

Naru turns away from the window, her face bright red. “Just hurry up and get there already Keitaro!”

“Y-Yes Naru, umm… right away!” Keitaro quickly steers towards the hotel, stepping on the gas heavily.

A few minutes later, our unlikely lovebirds arrive at the hotel, Naru promptly loads Keitaro up with all the luggage as they walk in, he is completely submerged in it.

“N-Naru.. a little help here, please?” Keitaro begs.

“Oh stop whining and be a man Keitaro.” Naru sighs. Turning toward the hotel front desk, “Excuse me, but we have a reservation for the honeymoon suite under the name or Urashima?” Naru tells the innkeeper.

“Oh my! You must be the young couple we heard about. Very good… you make such a beautiful bride there deary… wait, you two look awful familiar.. wasn’t it about, umm, 6 years ago that you two were here last?” The innkeeper asks.

Naru flushes slightly “I u-umm… yes, that was us.”

“So I see, and you told me you weren’t lovers, ho ho ho.” The innkeeper nudges Naru teasingly, “I knew that you two were gonna be lovers… I just knew it! Well, I suppose you’ll definitly be wanting the same room now eh?” the innkeeper teasingly asks.

Naru flushes bright red “I… ummm… w-we’re not lovers.” Naru stutters. “Oh why am I trying to deny it, of course we are” Naru admits. “And yes, we WILL want the same room thank-you-very-much” she says in a very matter-of-fact tone.

“Its nice to see you finally made up your mind there girlie” the innkeeper replies, giving a slight wink to Naru. “I guess you’ll be having the extra special ‘energy enhancing’ menu then eh?” the innkeeper asks slyly.

Naru flushes an even brighter red, “I.. I ummm…” she stutters. “y-yes, we will” she mutters softly.

“What was that deary? You’ll have to speak up a bit, my hearing isn’t as good as it used to be you know!” the innkeeper responds.

“Oh you old… YES, WE WILL HAVE THE SPECIAL NEWLYWED MENU!!!!!” Naru shouts at the top of her lungs. “Ack! Oh no.. did I just… argh” she looks around, everyone is staring at her and Keitaro. She flushes bright red, following the quickly departing innkeeper, she tosses a quick glance back at Keitaro (who is still carrying ALL the luggage) “Hurry it up Keitaro, I wanna get to the room really fast” she says laughing mischeviously as she turns around and walks off.

“H-Hey Naru… w-wait!” Keitaro exclaims. ‘What did you put in your luggage, bricks?’ He mutters under his breath. Keitaro quickly hurrys after them. “N-Naru? I can’t see where I’m going…” he says, fumbling forward blindly. He bumps into something, he hears a ripping sound as he drops all the bags onto the floor.

“K-K-Keitaro….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Naru shouts, her wedding dress on the floor. “COULDN’T YOU WAIT JUST 5 MINUTES YOU STUPID PERV!!!!!!!!!!!” She screams as she punches him in the face hard.

“Argh!” Keitaro says as he bounces down the halls of the inn, rolling to a stop in front of the elevator.

Naru runs into the room, motioning him to follow; “And don’t you DARE be late Keitaro!” She says as she winks and walks into the room.

PostPosted: Wed Jan 05, 2005 7:08 am
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Thalan (#44961)
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Joined: 16 May 2004
Posts: 986
Location: Sigtuna, Sweden
 Haha I must say that I'm the same as you . I wanted toread more and more of the manga even though it ended well. And I must say that really make a good sequel. Ireally enjoyed reading this.

Can't wait until the next chapter comes so I can read Very Happy

PS: You write really good stories Surprised
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 05, 2005 9:57 am
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Zaiz (#53481)
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Joined: 11 Aug 2004
Posts: 119
Location: Sigtuna, Sweden
 That story was really funny! Very Happy
I have'nt read the manga though. But I've seen the anme.
The style is really correct. And you're a very good writer! Wink
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 05, 2005 10:06 am
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Elvis_Maximus (#66405)
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Joined: 05 Jan 2005
Posts: 50
 Thanks
Thanks for all the great feedback, I'm going to try to have the next chapter up either today or tommorow




Note: it's not gonna contain any porn lol.. I'm not a hentai writer!

PostPosted: Wed Jan 05, 2005 10:20 pm
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Thalan (#44961)
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Joined: 16 May 2004
Posts: 986
Location: Sigtuna, Sweden
 Re: Thanks
Elvis_Maximus (#66405) wrote:
Note: it's not gonna contain any porn lol.. I'm not a hentai writer!


Good to hear that Very Happy
Can't wait really. I wanna read more Wink
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 05, 2005 10:22 pm
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Generic Individual (#60263)
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Joined: 26 Oct 2004
Posts: 445
 I was sceptical Maximus...but this is actually really good.

I especially like how you've almost perfectly captured the bubbling, barely concealed pit of vaguley psychotic hyper-violence that is Naru.

More, please!
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 05, 2005 10:37 pm
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Zaiz (#53481)
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Joined: 11 Aug 2004
Posts: 119
Location: Sigtuna, Sweden
 it's good that you write Love Hina Magna extension and not Love Hina Hentai Manga extension.
i can't until i'm able to read the next chapter Very Happy
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 05, 2005 11:05 pm
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Elvis_Maximus (#66405)
AnimeNfo Peasant


Joined: 05 Jan 2005
Posts: 50
 Chapter 2
So, here is chapter 2. I hope you enjoy it.



Just a quick explanation, I want to make sure to get acquainted with the other characters of Hinata House before I have to write with them a ton, so I'm using this chapter to also talk about whats happening back home


While the focus of this adaptation will remain for the most part on Keitaro and Naru Urashima, it will not be exclusivly on them. After all, Ema was just introduced in the Epilogue. So that's why this chapter isn't entirely about them


And without further ado, here's chapter 2:




Love Hina Manga Extension Project

Chapter 2
The Odd One Out

Meanwhile, back at the Hinata House…

“Leon, I just don’t think I’m gonna fit in here… I mean, they’re all so pretty and smart” Ema thinks aloud (Note: Leon is her pet Chameleon, he’s only mentioned once in Volume 14). “Plus, they all seem rather… ermm… violent” she confides, lying back down on the sofa.

“Oh, there you are Ema, I’ve been looking all over for you” Shinobu cheerfully says. “Why are you here all by yourself? Come on, we’re all going out to take a dip in the hot springs!”

“O-oh… umm… you guys go on ahead, I-I think I’ll pass…” Ema replies, slightly stuttering.

“Oh come on Ema, don’t just sit in here by yourself” Shinobu walks towards Ema, smiling brightly.

“N-no its uh… its ok… wah!” Ema exclaims as Shinobu grabs her by the shirt and drags her out.

“You know Ema, you really have nothing to worry about. I promise we won’t bite” Shinobu says cheerfully, “we all know that you’ll fit in perfectly!”

“I… I don’t know about that, I mean, you are all so beautiful and smart, and look at me… I’m just, average” Ema says, looking as if she’s heading towards tears.

“Ema… don’t say that, I don’t know if you’ve heard this. But none of us where particularily smart” Shinobu says in a lecturing tone. “In fact, you could even say when we arrived we were all the same as you” Shinobu flashes as happy smile at Ema. “I can’t tell you everyone elses story but… I used to be almost failing in school!”

“B-but your so pretty and…” Ema replies… with a slight tremor in her voice.

“Ema, looks don’t have anything to do with how well or how poorly you do, its just about believe in yourself.” Shinobu says kindly, “now lets go join the rest of the girls, ok?”

“A-alright… but.. umm… can I maybe, just wear a swimsuit.” Ema tenativly asks.

“Sure, of course you can” Shinobu responds.

The two open the door out to the bath, stepping out together they look around.

“SURPRISE!!!!!!!!” The entire Harem shouts. “We could tell you were feeling uncomfortable, so we decided ‘Hey, why not have a party to help cheer you up?’” Explains Shinobu. “H-Here ~hic~ have a drinshk kid” mumbles Kitsune. “Oh my god Kitsune… I haven’t been gone 10 minutes and your ALREADY drunk?!?” exclaims Shinobu. “Well, you know Kitsune and licqour… they’re inseperable, I just hope I don’t have to fish her out of the hot springs, like LAST time” Motoko grumbles.

“Ema… Ema come here and test my latest invention!” exclaims Su excitadly. She motions towards a large device with two very, very large hands, a massage bed, iron straps (for safety she says), and wheels.. all strapped to a very high powered motor. “Presenting… the WELCO-TRON-3000!! All you have to do is slap THIS…” Su slaps a sticker on a stunned Ema’s back “and push this button and….” The machine springs into life, chasing after Ema.

“O-O-OH MY GOD!! SHE’S TRYING TO KILL ME!” screams a frightened Ema, running away with the giant machine in pursuit.

“Ack! Su, what have we said about using your inventionsh on our ~hic~ gueshts” Kitsune mumbles, promptly falling over and going to sleep on the edge of the hot tub.

“H-Help me!!” screams Ema.

“Looks like its up to me then,” Motoko says, slowly baring her blade (the quesiton is.. where in the world did her sword come from!?!?) “METAL CUTTING SLASH: THIRD FORM!” Motoko leaps into the air, flying over Ema’s head she unleashes her chi (yes, that’s actually what she uses to attack) upon the offending metal monster. A giant slash forms in the middle of it, cutting it in half.

“Uh-oh…” Su sighs, “I put a self-destruct self-activating mechanism in case it was ever stolen or destroyed…”

“Y-You WHAT!?!?” Exclaims a horrifed group of residents. “What? That’s what us mad scientists do ya know!” Su responds innocently.

An audible tick can be heard from the machine, as everyone turns and looks it promptly erupts in a ball of flame and force.. launching all the residents into the hot springs.

“I-uhhh… w-what happened?” Shinobu groggily replies as she forces herself up, looking around she sees the bodies of the other residents (thankfully safe) lounching in the hot springs. “H-How did I get on this chair?” she asks.

“Oh, that? Well, you hadn’t woken up yet, so we figured after 10 minutes underwater it would PROBABLY be a good idea to get you out of there.” Kitsune says promptly. “Why don’t you come over here and have a drink?” She holds up a bottle of booze.

“Ugh. Still hitting the bottle, even after all that?” Shinobu asks. “Well, a girl has to stick to her guns” Kitsune responds with a twinkle in her eye.

Shinobu turns around, looking at the Hinata House. “OH MY GOD!!!! WHY IS THERE A MASSIVE HOLE IN THE SIDE OF THE BUILDING!?!?!? SEMPAI IS TOTALLY GONNA FREAK.” Shinobu shouts.

“Well, duh! I think that’s pretty obvious considering we had a massive explosion only 2 ft from the side of it,” Su replies, “but THANKFULLY I have just the thing to help fix the house, allow me to present the Repair-o-ma..”

“NO… n-no Su… that’s umm… that’s ok, I think we’ll be fine without your machines for this one.” Shinobu quickly replies.





The next morning at the Kyoto Inn.

[Knock Knock]

“U-umm w-who is it?” Naru asks groggily. “It’s me, the Innkeeper! I brought you two a special breakfast!” says the Innkeeper cheerfully. “H-Hold on just a sec.. eep” Naru squeeks as the door opens and the innkeeper walks in.

“Oh hoho deary me… it looks as if you two didn’t sleep a wink last night!” The innkeeper says, winking at Naru. She leans close to Naru and whispers in her ear “The special menu worked I take it?”

Naru’s face flushes crimson as she smacks Keitaro, “Wake up already! There’s someone here!”

Keitaro’s eyes slowly open, rubbing sleep out of them he sits up and yawns, looking around. Both Naru and the Innkeeper are staring at him, Naru with a look that is a mixture between pure embarassment and fury and the innkeeper with an amused smile. “W-what’s wrong with you too… have I got something on my face?”

The innkeeper chuckles too herself, “Oh hohoho.. looks like someone’s ready to go again” and winks knowingly.

Keitaro looks down in horror and notices that SOMEBODY is up bright and early, his face quickly flushes bright red. “N-Naru now hold on a minute.. umm.. I really can’t control this I.. uh…” he trails off with one glance at Naru, her eyes sparking slightly.

“KKKKKKKEITAROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WE JUST FINISHED AN HOUR AGO!!!!!!! YOU PERVERT!!!!” and with that roar she hits him out of the bed.

“WAH!!!!!!!!!!!!” That is the noise that comes out of Keitaro’s mouth as he flies into the wall, bouncing off and landing on the edge of the bed with a thud. “N-Naru, what was that for!”

Naru flushes bright red, looking incredibly embarassed she looks slightly away and down towards the bed, “S-sorry Keitaro it was.. umm.. a bad reflex.”

The innkeeper chuckles to herself again. “Oh, and by the way dears, I’m glad you were having fun, but you’re going to have to keep the noise down this time tonight, we had several complaints about it last night. And, use this while your down there” she throws Keitaro a can of WD40.

Both Naru and Keitaro blush at the first comment, and then Keitaro looks slightly confused as he catches the can. “I almost hate to ask but… ummm, whats is this for?” Keitaro asks hesitantly.

“Well well well.. I guess you two were a little too ‘busy’ to notice, but your bed has a slight.. umm… squeaking problem. If you would please oil the springs before you two love birds have some more fun, I’ll wave the noise fees.” The innkeeper responds, her eyes containing a giddy light in them. “I’ll leave your breakfast right here by the foot of the bed, oh I forgot to mention, this is also a ‘special’ blend to give you added energy” the innkeeper chuckles once more, winking. “I’ll leave you two alone now, but remember, oil the springs” and with that she turns around and leaves, still chuckling on her way out.

“Umm… well Naru I guess you’re going to have to try and… [smack]” Keitaro gets hit promptly upside the head by Naru. “Aww comon Naru, what was that for?”

Naru crosses her arms and turns away, blushing furiously, “I think you know VERY WELL what that was for Keitaro Urashima. And besides, I seem to remember someone else making a lot of noise last night too!” she says with a no nonsense tone, still blushing bright red.

“Well can you… H-hey! Stop trying to pin this all on me.” Keitaro says, “You made much more!”


[smack]

The innkeeper chuckles to herself, listening from outside the door. With a sigh, she reminices “Ahh… to be that young again and full of romance.”


And so begins a BEAUTIFUL new day in Japan

PostPosted: Thu Jan 06, 2005 3:55 am
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Generic Individual (#60263)
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Joined: 26 Oct 2004
Posts: 445
 “Oh my god Kitsune… I haven’t been gone 10 minutes and your ALREADY drunk?!?”

Brilliant.

I like the way you are writing this, though you seem to have chosen to write Kaolla Su as basically being the same. Don't you think the years of maturity may have calmed her down even a little?

No...me neither.
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 06, 2005 1:55 pm
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Elvis_Maximus (#66405)
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Joined: 05 Jan 2005
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Quote:
no me either


I seriously doubt it. After all, in the epilogue she shows about the same level of maturity, and since this takes place directly AFTER the epilogue, I'm assuming she hasn't changed that much Smile

Besides.. its so much more fun to have her be the same[/quote]

PostPosted: Thu Jan 06, 2005 6:30 pm
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Zaiz (#53481)
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Joined: 11 Aug 2004
Posts: 119
Location: Sigtuna, Sweden
Quote:
“Oh my god Kitsune… I haven’t been gone 10 minutes and your ALREADY drunk?!?”

i really agree with Generic Individual that it was just brilliant!
Quote:
I just hope I don’t have to fish her out of the hot springs

Quote:
Well, you hadn’t woken up yet, so we figured after 10 minutes underwater it would PROBABLY be a good idea to get you out of there
what to say? Very Happy
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 06, 2005 7:09 pm
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Elvis_Maximus (#66405)
AnimeNfo Peasant


Joined: 05 Jan 2005
Posts: 50
 Chapter 03
Yep, thats right, I wrote this one this morning.

Man... even I'm interested as to where this particular event is headed Smile



I also wanted to show that Kitsune does have a soft side (or at least, soft-ish)






Love Hina Manga Extension Project

Chapter 3
The Match Made in Heaven(?) Part 1

“Motoko… where are you??” Keitaro calls out. He runs up the stairs, frantically looking for her. Kicking her bedroom door, she stands their in a bra and panties.

“U-Urashima w-what are you doing back here so soon?” Motoko asks, a tone of confusion in her voice.

“Motoko, I finally realize what a mistake I made; it turns out, it was you I wanted all along!” He passionatly exclaims.

“U-Ura… Keitaro, a-are you saying that you l-lo..” Motoko stutters.

“Yes Motoko, I love you; to hell with Naru and what anyone thinks! You’re the only one I’ll ever love!” Keitaro crys out, bending over slowly; their lips sof….


“Oh my god… w-what in the world am I writing?” Motoko exclaims. Shaking her head softly, she reads what she just wrote, “H-heheh… like this would ever… ever” tears slowly form in her eyes as she reads it. Her hands begin to shake. “I… I’m so pathetic!” She crys out as the tears roll softly down her cheek, she begins to sob uncontrollably. “T-the one man I fall for a-and <sniffle> he’s already taken.. and now I can’t stop thinking about it <sob>.”

Kitsune walks by Motoko’s door, hearing the muffled sounds of crying behind it, she pauses and listens in. Hearing Motoko’s crying, she slowly opens the door. Motoko has he head in her arms on the desk, its obvious that she’s crying.

Kitsune slowly tip-toes into the room, she softly sits down beside Motoko. “Motoko… whats up?” She asks in a concerned tone.

“WAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! N-N-N-Nothing’s wrong!” She very fakely laughs… but slowly her laughs turn back to crying.

“Motoko, this, this isn’t like you to get all weepy on us. Is, is this about Keitaro?” Kitsune softly asks.

Motoko makes a forced laugh again, “W-why would it be about that IDIOT!” She exclaims, punching the desk. The desk makes a cracking noise as her fist goes straight through the desk, the debris falling inside.

‘Oh my god,’ Kitsune thinks to herself, ‘she’s just about ready to KILL someone… I’d better be VERY careful here.’ Kitsune puts her arm around Motoko, pulling Motoko close to her. “Here, you can use my shoulder to cry on” she says sympathetically. ‘She must really be worked up over this, I didn’t think it was this bad, this may take drastic measures… good thing I’ve got those ‘pictures’ of her from last summer.’

“<sob> T-thanks Ki-Kitsune <sniffle, sob> I… I’m so sorry about all of this…” the rest of her words become muffled in her tears. “I-I’ve got t-to let this a-<sniffle>-all go. I’ve got to face the facts.” Motoko sits up, her eyes red from crying, she smiles slightly “I feel a lot better now… I, I think I’m going to go, umm… take a bath” Motoko says, still smiling.

‘Nows my chance to call an emergency meeting’ Kitsune thinks to herself. ‘Let operation SETUP MOTOKO BEGIN!!!’ She stands, throwing her arms into the air and dancing slightly in mock victory.

A few hours later…

“Alright Kitsune, we’re all here, now what is SO important that you had to call an emergency meeting?” Shinobu asks, sounding slightly annoyed.

“As you all know, Motoko has it REAL bad for Keitaro” Kitsune says in a lecturing tone.

“Well duh! But, I know someone ELSE who does tooo” Su says in a slightly teasing tone, directing a purposeful glance at Shinobu.

“Ack! Will you stop that Su! Geez!” Shinobu says, her face blushing bright red.

“Ooooo Shinobu! Your blushing!” Su says in a slightly sing-song voice, sticking her tounge out at Shinobu.

“W-Why you…” Shinobu mutters, looking as if she’s about to hit Su.

“I.. U-umm.. don’t you think we should uh.. go back to the matter at hand” interrupts Ema, sounding very tenative.

Both Shinobu and Su look at Ema in surprise… they quickly regain their composure. “Of course” they say in unison, turning towards Kitsune.

Kitsune looks a little surprised that it ended so fast (and slightly disappointed as well). “Well, I was thinking that we should help her get over Keitaro. And so I came up with a plan!” Suddenly, Kitsune pulls down a diagram from behind her, entitled Operation Kendo Love! Kitsune stands up, wearing a generals outfit, fully decorated with ribbons of past “battles.”

“U-umm.. excuse me but, where did all this come from…?” Ema asks, looking incredibly confused.

“Don’t sweat the small stuff kid!” Kitsune replys, acting as if nothing has changed. “The plan is to distribute these pictures among all the worthy men at Tokyo U… then we’re gonna hold a big party with a ‘special contest’” (Note that she makes the quotes with her hands around special contest). “Guess what the prize will be… come on guess!” Kitsune commands, a incredibly energized look gleaming from her eyes.

‘Man.. where does she get all this energy when all she ever does is drink herself stupid’ thinks Shinobu.

“Is the prize, a bunch of bannanas?” Su excitedly asks. “Or, wait… how about… A GIANT TURTLE SHAPED ROBOT!!!” Su shouts.. jumping up and down.

“S-Su… settle down and lets let Kitsune tell us what the prize is” Shinobu quickly says; desperatly trying to calm Su down before something ends up exploding. “Kitsune, please, just tell us!” Shinobu exclaims.

“Wellllll… since you asked SOO politely, I guess I’ll oblige.” Kitsune replies. “The prize is…” a loud drumroll starts in the attic, “A DATE WITH MOTOKO COMPLETE WITH A KISS!!!!!!” Kitsune shouts, looking incredibly eager. “I know, I know, don’t thank me all at once. I realize this is a genious plan!” Kitsune says EVER so modestly.

A cricket can be heard as everyone looks absolutely shocked.

“Y-your kidding, right?” Shinobu asks, looking incredibly confused.

“Not at all Shinobu, not at all!” Kitsune replies, a mischevious look in her eyes. “Nothing could POSSIBLY go wrong with this plan, as long as we get the right type of guys, right?” Kitsune says. “Here, take these bags of invitations I had made up this morning.” Kitsune orders, handing each person a bag of them. “Now, I want you all to go out there and give these flyers to everyone in the martial arts clubs, as well as anyone you think is EXTRA hot.” Kitsune says very seriously. She looks at the girls, winks and says “who knows, with all those guys there, maybe we’ll find some man meat for ourselves too!” she giggles quietly. Kitsune motions them to leave “Hurry, HURRY. Get going, the parties going to be tommorow night!” she shoos them all out the door with bags in hand. Closing the door, she thinks to herself ‘at the very least… this should be VERY interesting…’



Stay tuned for part 2 (possibly coming out later today Smile)

PostPosted: Thu Jan 06, 2005 9:30 pm
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Thalan (#44961)
AnimeNfo Warrior


Joined: 16 May 2004
Posts: 986
Location: Sigtuna, Sweden
 Oh go damn I just love this Very Happy. This is soo freaking good,. I just can't wait until the next cahpter. Damn why can't the manga go on for like 42 volumes more? Crying or Very sad
I just love this. Completely
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 06, 2005 10:01 pm
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Generic Individual (#60263)
AnimeNfo Scout


Joined: 26 Oct 2004
Posts: 445
 Ah yes, the old 'ridiculous-and-sure-to-fail-plan-that-suddenly-happens-for-no-apparent-reason' thing. I can see you've got into the spirit of the Love Hina Manga perfectly.

"Nothing could POSSIBLY go wrong with this plan". Famous Last Words. Can't wait for Chapter 4.
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 06, 2005 10:20 pm
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Elvis_Maximus (#66405)
AnimeNfo Peasant


Joined: 05 Jan 2005
Posts: 50
 Hmm
Ok, so chapter 04 didn't come out exactly how I would've liked.


I apologize about this one, but I had a serious case of writers block on what to do for this chapter. I wanted some more setup (and also to show Kitsune doing what she does best... playing Puppet Master). However I couldn't think of much content for this chapter.

I am going to go back and rewrite it after I write a few more chapters.

Also, I'm not into the main story arc... but I promise you that this story arc (which I may start after chapter 05) will be worth it.


Also I'm going to try my best to make up for this lousy chapter by writing the next chapter REALLY well (I have some great ideas for it)


So please, don't kill me for this one, I'll make it up to you (either in the next one or in the main story, depending on what floats your boat Wink).


Love Hina Manga Extension Project

Chapter 04
The Match Made in Heaven(?) Part 2

“You know, we really shouldn’t do this… this is SUCH a bad idea.” Shinobu says with a slightly worried voice. Su turns and starts to run off. “S-Su, wait come ba…ck” Shinobu says as Su hops on one of her her rockets, flying off.

“Don’t worry Shinobu! I’ll make sure to hand out ALL the invitations and be back before midnight!” Su crys as she flies off, waving to the two remaining people.

Ema turns to leave. As she does Shinobu grabs her arm, “W-wait, don’t tell me you’re going to do it too?” Shinobu asks incredulously.

“W-well… Motoko did look rather depressed, and if this might help her… then I’m going to do it!” Ema replies ferociously. She pulls free of Shinobu and runs off toward the train station.

“There is NO way I’m doing this!” Shinobu says. “This has to be the STUPIDEST idea ever.” She says, sounding very frusterated. She turns around, marching back into the Hinata House.

Motoko sighs, “why can’t I just get over him?” She asks while soaking the bath. “I mean, there are PLENTY of other guys out there! And they’re ALL probably MUCH better than that idiot!” Motoko says angerly. “That’s it! I’m tired of feeling so pathetic, I’ve got to get over him!” She says passionatly, standing up and making decisive gestures.

“I couldn’t agree more” says Kitsune slyly, a hint of a smile on her lips.

“WAH!?!” Motoko crys, jumping slightly. “H-how long have you been there?” she asks tenativly.

“Long enough” Kitsune replies, walking over to the bath. “Are you sure you want to get over him?” She asks Motoko.

“I.. uh… I mean there is… nothing to get over!” Motoko replies. She looks at Kitsune, turning away she sighs softly and says “y-yes… I’m sure.”

“Excellent” Kitsune says, an mischevious glint in her eyes. She leaves the bath.

Motoko turns around, “W-what!?!? What the heck was all that about?” she asks incredously. “I just KNOW that she’s up to something… but, what!?!?”

The next day in another emergency meeting…

“Agent Su? Did you complete your mission successfully?” Kitsune barks, once again in generals clothes.

“M’am Yes M’am!” Su replies. She has changed into a military grunt’s fatigues.

“Agent Ema? Did you complete your mission successfully?” Kitsune once again barks.

“Y-yes I di..” Ema begins, stuttering slightly.

“I’m sorry private, what did you just say!?!?” Kitsune barks, leaning close to Ema, looking slightly menacing.

“Kitsune! Stop it, she’s new here cut her some slack!” Shinobu says angerly.

“Eheh… sorry I just kinda get a little too into this” Kitsune replies apologetically.

‘Geez… how can she go from drunk, to general, to drunk, to puppetmaster, to drunk, all in almost an hour!’ Shinobu wonders to herself.

“Shinobu? Did you complete the mission?” Kitsune asks with not quite as much bark as before.

“No, of course not. There is no WAY you can be serious about this. I mean, we’re talking about Motoko he…” Shinobu begins.

“Yes, I know it’s the perfect plan. Don’t be jealous that you didn’t think of it; after all those years of gambling and drinking I picked up just a BIT of knowledge” Kitsune beams proudly.

‘Ugh… its too bad she didn’t pick up any common sense while she was at it’ Shinobu thinks.

“Tonight at exactly 20 hours…. WE PARTY!!!!!!!!” Kitsune cries out as if uttering a battle cry.

PostPosted: Sat Jan 08, 2005 3:34 am
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Generic Individual (#60263)
AnimeNfo Scout


Joined: 26 Oct 2004
Posts: 445
 Yeah, not much actually happened in that chapter, but I liked it.

It's especially interesting how much Shinobu has changed. She no longer seems to be the quiet, easily-led little girl she once was.

My god, actual proper thought and character development going into a work of fan fiction! we really don't deserve you Elvis, we really don't...

More chapters!
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 08, 2005 10:48 am
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Elvis_Maximus (#66405)
AnimeNfo Peasant


Joined: 05 Jan 2005
Posts: 50
 Chapter 05
I hope this makes up for chapter 4s failure! This chapter is much better, I promise (plus much, MUCH longer).


Prepare for the main story arc to be introduced in the next chapter!

Love Hina Extension Project

Chapter 05
The Match Made in Heaven(?) Part 3

That same day, at 19:55 in the Hinata War Room (aka the attic).

‘Ugh… why in the world do I keep coming up here?’ Shinobu wonders.

“Guys, you have GOT to come see my sweet party setup!” Kitsune says eagerly, anticipation shining in her eyes. “The guests should start arriving any minute now! So lets go get started.” She says, leading her 3 woman army out onto the field of battle (aka the backyard).

“Umm… Ki-kitsune, I think I see a problem with your setup…” Shinobu says dryly.

“Nonsense, there’s nothing wrong with it, we’ve got PLENTY of booze!” Kitsune says proudly.

“Well… yes but, THAT IS ALL YOU HAVE!” Shinobu yells. The scene of the party has 10 kegs of beer, 4 coolers stocked with beer, and a wet bar. “Don’t you think the guests would like to… oh, I don’t know… EAT?!?!?” Shinobu says angerly.

“Oh Shinobu… you silly girl, that’s where you come in!” Kitsune says, pushing Shinobu into the Hinata House. “Go make us some snacks… puhhhhleaseeeee?” Kitsune says, batting her eyelashes and looking innocent.

Shinobu sighs, “F-fine… I’ll go make some food” she says, grumbling to herself as she leaves.

‘Now, to get Motoko all dressed up and ready!’ Kitsune thinks to herself. She walks over to Motoko’s room, finding her lying on her bed. “Motoko! There you are!! Would you please try on this Kimono for me? I bought it in the wrong size, but I think it might be PERFECT for you.” She says, looking overly eager.

“Kitsune… please, I’m not in the mood right now.” Motoko says, sighing loudly.

“But, I bet you’d look beautiful in it…” Kitsune replies.

“I-I’m just not in the mood right now…” Motoko says again, rolling onto her side.

“Fine! I’ll just have to make you then!” Kitsune says, leaping into the room and closing the door behind her. A loud struggle insues, the sounds of clothing being ripped are heard and then the sound of clothes being slipped over someones head. “There! You see, that wasn’t so hard” Kitsune says, attempting to sound reasonable, but coming off as sarcastic.

Motoko looks in the mirror, ‘wow, she was right about the kimono, it does look good but… why does it fit me perfectly? And how did she get makeup on me as well…” she wonders, turning to ask Kitsune.

“Now, lets go out to the backyard and celebrate the… uh… grass festival” Kitsune says. ‘Grass festival.. ha! I’m a genious.’ She thinks.

“There is no such thing as a grass festival Kitsune,” Motoko says, “and I really don’t want to go anywhere in this.”

“Nonsense!” she grabs Motoko’s arm and pulls her outside. Many of the guests have already arrived. She pulls Motoko up to the center stage. “How are y’all feeling tonight?” She shouts into the microphone.

The party roars in response. ‘Oh god, I love this!’ Kitsune thinks to herself, smiling brightly.

“Who’s ready for the contest? After all,” Kitsune pulls Motoko on to the stage gesturing towards her like a prize, “here’s the prize!” she shouts.

The audience roars again, even louder this time.

“The contest will be… A MARTIAL ARTS SHOWDOWN!!!!” Kitsune roars, birds fly away and horses neigh.

Shinobu hears from inside the house, shaking her head and thinking ‘Oh geez, we’re SO screwed…’

“But first, let’s just have some fun!” Kitsune shouts, leaping into the crowd and surfing along. “To the booze!!!” She cries, pointing towards the kegs.

‘Oh my god, what has she done… what does she mean I’m the prize!’ Motoko wonders to herself, climbing off the stage.

“Motoko! You look… uh… healthy!” a man from the crowd says.

Motoko turns around, looking the direction that the person spoke from. ‘Tha-that couldn’t be, please tell me they didn’t invite…’ she sees the person, ‘oh god, they did, they invited Yajirou Torajima’ she thinks, blushing bright red as she realizes what she’s wearing.

“W-hatsh wrong Motoky ~hic~ he’sh prettys cutes” Kitsune slurs out, wobbling slightly.

“Ahh… Kitsune…?” Motoko says. ‘Ugh.. not even five minutes, that has to be a new record, even for her!’ she thinks to herself. “Why did you invite the captain of Tokyo U’s Kendo team?!?!?” She asks incredulously. “And with me dressed like this…”

“AH jusht go overf there and talk to him” Kitsune says, pushing Motoko towards him.

“Ack” she crys out as she trips, someone catches her. “T-thanks” she says, blushing a soft red. She looks up, ‘oh please don’t let it be him…’ she sees who caught her, ‘oh my god!’

“I.. uh… a-are you ok Motoko…? I uh… got your invitation…” Yajirou says, sounding rather nervous.

“W-what invitation…?” Motoko asks.

“F-first could you maybe umm.. stop leaning on me…” Yajirou says nervously, “t-though the view is umm.. nice…” he says, blushing and looking down slightly at her opened kimono top.

‘Oh my god, I’ve been flashing him!!!’ Motoko thinks, blushing even brighter red and pushing herself away quickly. “W-what invitation were you talking about?” She asks, still flustered.

“This one…” Yajirou replies, handing her the invitation.

“O-O-Oh my god!!! Where’d these pictures of me come from!!?!?!?” Motoko shrieks, the pictures on the card are of her in very revealing underwear and swimsuits.

Kitsune hears Motoko, and smiles to herself, ‘thank god for telescopic lenses and drills’ she thinks, chuckling to herself.

Kitsune stumbles her way back onto the stage, “LET THE TOURNAMENT ~hic~ BEGIN!!!” she shouts into the microphone. “Don’t forget that lovely prize over there,” she points towards Motoko, “the winner get’s a date and a kiss with her!” She says, winking.

“H-hey! I didn’t agree to this!” Motoko protests.

“Now now dear, you said you wanted to get over that certain something” Kitsune says teasingly. Motoko blushes.

“Hi, it’s a lovely day here at Hinata arena, and we’ve got a great show in store for you today!” Su says from behind a news-style desk, “here with me as always is my lovely color commentator Ema!” Su says, gesturing towards Ema.

“W-what are you talking about? We agreed you’d be the color commentator!” Ema says, looking flustered.

“F-first up, is Yajirou Torajima, he is fighting against, Number 52.” Ema says, looking confused by the second name.

“W-what!” Number 52 crys incredously, “I don’t even get a name!”

“Shh.. your not a main character” Kitsune whispers to him.

Kitsune stand in the center of the arena, “Now lets have a clean match, no weapons, no taking hostages, are we clear?” She asks. “Now, shake hands, go to your sides, and come out, uh… martial arting?” she says.

They walk back to there sides, the crowd visibly tenses, everyone’s eyes are on the ring.

“Yatchan* turns around, flying towards Number 52” Su cries excitedly (*Yatchan is Su’s nickname for Yajirou, its also easier to spell J).

“SKY’S ROAR TECHNIQUE #5: FLYING HAMMER FIST!!!!!!” Yatchan cries out, slamming his fist into Number 52’s face.

“What an amazing strike! Perfect form” Ema cries enthusiastically.

‘What’s this,’ Motoko thinks to herself, ‘he’s a member of the Sky’s Roar school?’

Number 52 flys through the air, slamming into a pole and falling to the ground unconcious.

Kitsune steps into the ring, grabbing Yatchan’s arm and holding above his head “WINNER! YAJIROU TORAJIMA!!” she shouts.

The crowd roars in response.

A few hours later:

“We’re down to the final two contestants,” an enthused Ema says, “Yatchan vs. Number 64. Both these competitors have one every match with just a single blow!”

“Best… competition… ever” Su replies, bouncing in her seat.

Kitsune steps out into the middle of the ring, stumbling slightly, “Yoush guyhss no the rulesh right>? Then letsh fight!” she cries out, passing out on the edge of the ring.

“That’s our Kitsune for you! Drunk as ever” Su beams proudly.

“U-umm Su, I don’t think that’s something you should be.. umm.. happy about” Ema says slightly nervously.

The two opponents stand facing each other, each daring the other to make the first move. The tension in the crowd grows, it is palpable in the air.

Suddenly, Number 64 leaps at Yatchan, flying almost faster than the eye can see. He cries out “FLOWER FORM #3: PANSY STRIKE!” Slamming his fist into Yatchan’s face.

Yatchan barely blinks, he looks surprised however… “Th-that is really all you’ve got?” He says incredously, wondering how this guy won against the others.

“His pansy attack has no effect on brave Yatchan!” Su cries out.

“S-su, we’re supposed to be objective” Ema whispers to her.

Yajirou flicks Number 64, knocking him out cold.

Kitsune stumbles towards Yajirou “Winner, Y~hic~Yaj~hic~Y something!” she says.

‘Oh my god.. he won, that means I’m gonna go out with him, doesn’t it’ Motoko says, blushing bright red. ‘W-what am I gonna do!??’ she wonders frantically.

Kitsune whispers in Yajirou’s ear, “Take these tickets over to Motoko and say something nice to her” she says, sounding very mischevious. She hands him tickets to a medieval weapons show.

He walks towards Motoko, ‘W-what should I say… why do I have to be so bad with the ladies?’ He thinks to himself, ‘I-if only I was smoother with them, I’d be so much better off. And she’s so beautiful’ he thinks to himself, blushing slightly. ‘Ugh, this is so embarassing…’ he thinks.

“M-Motoko?” he hesitantly says, getting her attention.

“Y-yes, Yajirou…?” She says, blushing slightly as she looks at him. ‘He really is handsome… much better than that idiot.’ She thinks to herself, causing her to blush even more.

‘Oh god, what do I say!?!?’ Yajirou thinks frantically. He bows to her, “Your kimono looks very functional!!!” he says quickly. ‘Oh my god, why did I say that, how lame can I be!?!?’ he thinks, blushing bright red.

“I uh… th-thanks… <I think>” she replies, muttering the last part.

“I, umm, I would like you to accompany me to see this, umm, medieval weapons exhibit… and maybe have dinner as well!” he says quickly. ‘She will say no, I just know it!’ he thinks despairingly.

“I… I would umm.. like that” Motoko replies nervously. ‘Oh my god… I can’t believe this is happening, how did I never notice him before?’ she wonders to herself, still blushing red.

“T-that’s ok… wuh-wait? You s-said yes..?” He asks standing upright, his face two inches away from hers, his lips so close to hers.

“I… umm… yes” she says softly, her eyes closing slowly.

Yajirou’s face advances closer to hers, slowly getting closer and closer.



An explosion is heard in the distance, Motoko looks over in the direction it came from, causing Yajirou to miss and stumble off balance. Both of them fall to the ground, Yajirou landing ontop of Motoko.

“Y-yajirou…” Motoko says softly. Her eyes closed as her lips pucker slightly.

“M-motoko…” he says, his lips moving closer to hers as a beat up old van lands next to them. Both of them exclaim and jump away from each other.

Out steps Keitaro and Naru, looking at the two and smiling, then looking at each other. “We’re back!” They exclaim in unison.

~End Chapter 05~



By the way, please lemme know what you think about the new character, Yajirou Torajima.

PostPosted: Sat Jan 08, 2005 8:30 pm
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Generic Individual (#60263)
AnimeNfo Scout


Joined: 26 Oct 2004
Posts: 445
 the new character seems interesting....more please. Until then, I have nothing more to say except:

To the booze!
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 08, 2005 8:51 pm
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Elvis_Maximus (#66405)
AnimeNfo Peasant


Joined: 05 Jan 2005
Posts: 50
 Chapter 06
Ok, welcome to the main story arc. The other Harem residents will still play prominent roles but, I still want to focus on Keitaro and Naru (I still think there's a lot to tell Smile)

Who knows, maybe I'll do a second set of fanfics just dealing (in detail) with Motoko and her new "friend." But don't worry, I'm not going to let that just fall away in this set either Smile



Anyway, without further ado:







Love Hina Manga Extension Project

Chapter 06
Already Sick?!? (Part 1)

The time is 5:00 A.M. The place, Keitaro’s room.

‘H-huh? Why am I in Keitaro’s room?’ Naru wonders. ‘W-who’s this with their arms around me…?’ She wonders, still groggy. She remembers the wedding, the wonderful honeymoon nights. Sighing to herself contentedly she lets her head rest against the pillow, smiling as she remembers it all. Just as she is about to go back to sleep, she starts to feel a strange feeling in her stomach. ‘Oh no,’ she thinks to herself, on the verge of throwing up, ‘I-I can’t wake Keitaro up’ she thinks, panicking slightly. She slowly lifts his arm off of her, ‘please don’t wake up, please don’t wake up.’ She repeats to herself in a litany. As soon as she’s free she gets up, running out.

Keitaro groggily opens his eyes, seeing Naru run out looking very pale he shakes himself awake. He quickly grabs a robe and follows her, ‘oh no.. I hope she’s not getting sick,’ he thinks, ‘I just know I’ll get blamed for this sometime.’ He thinks.

Naru quickly runs to the bathroom, throwing the door open and running inside, barely shutting the door. She leans over the toilet, emptying her stomach.

Keitaro hears the sound of vomiting from the other side of the door, worrying silently to himself, he sits down outside and waits.

Naru sits on the floor, leaning over and vomiting again she moans to herself, ‘augh… why do I have to get sick now, of all times! Right when we got home too.’ A few minutes later her stomach finally settles down, she unsteadily wobbles over to the sink. She rinses the cold sweat off her face, taking out her toothbrush and brushing her teeth to get rid of the smell. She stumbles to the door, opening it she sees Keitaro sitting there, “K-Keitaro wh-what are you…” she trails off into muttering. She trys to call out to Keitaro, but weakened from the loss of fluids nothing comes out but a gasp. The world seems to slow down to her.

“Nnnnnnaaaaaarrrrruuuuuuuuuuu arrreeee youuuuu oooook?” Keitaro asks, moving towards her sounding very worried.

She trys to tell him she’s fine, but she can’t make the words come out. Her vision starts to fade, her muscles turning to jelly. She stumbles then collapses. Keitaro quickly dives and catches her, holding her close. She looks very pale. ‘K-keitaro I, I just wish,’ she thinks, ‘I just wish I could have told you that I love you… always and…’ she loses conciousness.

“Oh, oh my god!” Keitaro shouts, panicking slightly. He feels her forehead, its cool to the touch and slightly clammy. “N-Naru, don’t you… don’t you dare d…” he mumbles, tears coming to his eyes.

“K-keitaro <yawns> w-whats all the fuss about.. OH MY GOD!” Kitsune shouts, dropping to her knees near Naru, she checks her pulse. “Oh thank god… she’s alive” Kitsune says, sounding very relieved. “Keitaro you idiot?!?!? Didn’t you even think to actually check!” she exclaims irritably. “She just passed out, what happened?” Kitsune asks.

“She got up and just kinda ran out of the room <sniffle>. I followed her to the bathroom and I think she was <sniff> throwing up.” Keitaro says, still a little worked up over Naru’s collapse. “T-then… when she came out she just looked so pale, and she started to say something but. But I couldn’t understand her, and she just collapsed. I was just so worried” he says.

Kitsune looks at him sympathetically, “it’ll be ok… here, carry her back to your room and I’ll help you get her settled.”

Keitaro carries her back, Kitsune opens the door and they put her in bed. They pull the covers up around her.

“Keitaro? Wait here, I’m going to go get a damp cloth.” Kitsune says, running out of the room.

Keitaro looks at her face, it looks pale and vunerable. Her chest moves up and down with the steady rhythmn of her breath. ‘Even though your sick, your still so beautiful to me’ he thinks to himself, slowly running his hands through her hair, a tear of relief running down his cheek.

Kitsune enters the room, seeing Keitaro and Naru together, she walks over quietly, tapping him on the shoulder. “Hear, put this on her forehead, make sure to keep it wet and cool. It will keep there from being a fever later.” She says, sounding very understanding as she slowly backs out of the room.

Keitaro leans forward, kissing her softly as he puts the cloth on her head, he falls asleep with his head on the bed, his last though is ‘I’ll take care of you, I won’t let anything happen to you.’

Naru wakes up a few hours later. She looks around the room, confused as to how she got there. ‘The last thing I remember was… vomiting in the toilet’ she thinks to herself, the thought making her slightly queesy. She looks down, seeing Keitaro asleep on the floor, she taps him on the head.

He wakes up, rubbing sleep out of his eyes, “N-Naru, you’re awake” he says groggily, “how are you feeling?”

“P-pretty good” she replies, “much better than this morning. K-Keitaro, I’m sorry for not telling you, I just, I just…” she stutters.

“Its alright Naru, just if this happens again, please wake me. I don’t know what would have happened if I wasn’t there.” He says, worry in his eyes. He holds her close to him, she smiles softly, ‘Thanks Keitaro’ she thinks to herself.

“Would you like anything to drink?” He asks her.

“Y-yes, could I have some water, I think I was just dehydrated” she replies, still smiling.

“O-of course!” he replies, sounding much to eager as he runs out of the room, almost tripping and falling through the door.

Naru giggles slightly, “that idiot” she says softly.

Meanwhile, right next door in Kitsune’s room…

Kitsune lies on her bed, thinking about the events earlier this morning. What Keitaro had said ringing through her ears. She smiles to herself, ‘I’ve always prided myself on figuring this stuff out’ she thinks. She laughs softly, ‘I know whats wrong… but I wonder, does she?’

PostPosted: Sun Jan 09, 2005 7:10 pm
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Generic Individual (#60263)
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Joined: 26 Oct 2004
Posts: 445
 ...She isn't, is she?
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 09, 2005 8:20 pm
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JoReL (#63371)
AnimeNfo Peasant


Joined: 01 Dec 2004
Posts: 5
Location: Ann Arbor, MI
 This is awesome... It's like fate cuz I just finished reading the manga and was sad that it was done... Thanks a lot for continuing one of my favorite mangas.

O yea and the new kendo guy, Yajirou Torajima, is a nice love interest for Motoko, but his name sounds kinda familiar Question ... I was always hoping that she would find someone for her, as well as all of the girls in Hinatasou.

Keep up the good work!!!

PostPosted: Mon Jan 10, 2005 5:47 am
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JoReL (#63371)
AnimeNfo Peasant


Joined: 01 Dec 2004
Posts: 5
Location: Ann Arbor, MI
 Ahh... now I remember. Yajirou Torajima sounds like Yajirou Kojima from Grenadier... hehe. He also has the same nickname given to him bye Rusyuna. I guess it kinda makes sense because he's a samurai and all that.

PostPosted: Mon Jan 10, 2005 6:39 am
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Elvis_Maximus (#66405)
AnimeNfo Peasant


Joined: 05 Jan 2005
Posts: 50
 Chapter 07
Quote:
Yajirou Torajima sounds like Yajirou Kojima from Grenadier


Alright fine, I'll admit to it. I got his name from Grenadier Embarassed. I was looking for that sort of name, but I'm REALLY bad at making up names. Seriously, even with American ones the only ones I can make up are the most ridicoulusly generic names, and I wanted one that felt a certain way.

Quote:
He also has the same nickname


That nickname just sounded like something Su would call, I also liked the way it ended with -chan (which is something which, for the most part, you would never call a guy). It just fits really well.

However, the actual character is COMPLETELY unique from Grenadier, they are COMPLETELY different people! So ha!



Anyway, here is the next chapter (please don't hate me for the name thing Embarassed):



Love Hina Manga Extension Project

Chapter 07
Already Sick?!? (Part 2)

That next week, they had established a routine of sorts. If Naru had to throw up in the morning she would wake up Keitaro and they would both go to the bathroom, Keitaro would make sure she got back safely. However after today, she was starting to wonder…

‘I-it can’t be… that… can it?’ she wonders. ‘I mean, we were pretty careful about that…’ she thinks frantically, ‘I-it just can’t.’

“Naru?” Keitaro asks, she visibly jumps, “I think you should go in to the doctor, just in case.” He says, sounding very worried.

Naru laughs slightly, ‘h-he has no idea what it could be, does he? W-what an idiot…’ she thinks to herself, smiling.

“Well, p-please Naru, would you please go, for me?” he says cautiously.

She nods, “alright Keitaro” she says, “I’ll go; but, could you stay here when I do?” she asks, looking into his eyes.

“I… uh… a-alright?” Keitaro says, sounding very confused.

“Thanks Keitaro,” she stands up, walking out the door; as she leaves she turns around, “I love you Keitaro!” she says, smiling brightly.

“I love you too Naru…” he replies, once again looking very confused, ‘what has gotten into her? She’s been so weird lately.’ He wonders.

She walks next door to Kitsune’s room. Knocking on it, then opening it. Kitsune lies on her bed, cold cloth on her forehead and bottle of booze in her hand. Naru sighs, “Kitsune… its only ten o’clock, how can you be drinking already? Nevermind that, umm… would you, come with me to the doctor’s?” She asks hesitantly.

“W-why do I have to go?” Kitsune asks. “Shouldn’t Keitaro be going with you?” she says.

“P-please Kitsune? I’m… kinda scared of what I might find out.” She says, sounding sad. “I’m afraid… I might be… well…” she trails off to mutters at the end.

“Oooooohhhhhh” Kitsune says, a smile crossing her face, “tell me… how was Keitaro in bed?” she says, a huge grin on her face.

Naru blushes bright red, “T-THAT’S NONE OF YOUR BUISNESS!” she shouts as she smacks Kitsune hard, leaving a bright red hand print on her face.

Kitsune recoils slightly from the slap, turning around and grinning even wider. “I see you’ve still got your touch, of course I’ll come with you.” She says.

Naru rolls her eyes, ‘Kitsune never misses a chance does she…’ she thinks to herself, “thanks, Kitsune. Can we leave like right now?” Naru asks anxiously.

“In a bit of a hurry are we?” Kitsune asks, a sly smile on her face, “alright, let’s go.” She says, getting up.

They get onto the train, the doors close and they begin to ride it into Tokyo. Kitsune looks over at Naru, smiling suspicously, she leans close and whispers into her ear “Judging from your reaction, he must have been really good right?”

“KITSUNE!!!!!!” Naru shouts, the other passengers looking over. Naru flushes even brighter red. Kitsune giggles to herself.

After a fairly long, very embarassing ride. The arrive in Tokyo, getting off the train they head to a doctor’s office (which you ask? Well, it really doesn’t matter!).

“Naru Urashima? The doctor will see you now.” The nurse calls out, having her come in and sit down on the bed thing (don’t know the actual name of those things, you know what I’m talking about!).

‘T-this is it… I’ll find out today.’ She thinks, tensing in anticipation.

The doctor enters the room, looking at his chart and reading what her symptoms arm. He pulls out a needle, “Naru? We’d like to take a blood sample to run a quick test.” He says, stepping closer.

‘O-oh god… I hate needles!’ she says, paling slightly. “W-what are you testing for…?” she asks very hesitantly, not really wanting to hear the answer.

“Pregnancy” the doctor replies simply.

‘Ahhh!’ she thinks to herself, ‘w-what is happneing… my heart is beating so fast….’ She thrusts out her arm, holding it steady, “a-alright doctor, please just, do it fast!” she says dramatically.

“Take the blood sample? Oh I already did that, you looked like you were lost in thought or something.” He says, turning around and smiling.

She looks down at her arm, seeing the bandaid there she blushes slightly, feeling very foolish. “Ah… I uh, see.” She says sheepishly.

“The test will take about 10 minutes, so I’ll be back once we have the results.” The doctor says, “don’t leave before then!”

“A-alright” she says… sitting on the little bed thing and looking around. ‘W-what am I going to do if the test comes back positive?’ she wonders, ‘I-I don’t know if I’m ready to be a… a…. a mother’ she thinks. ‘How will I tell Keitaro? What will he say? W-What if he gets mad at me!!’ she thinks, starting to panic slightly. ‘Oh my god… what if he doesn’t want to have it!’ she thinks, panicing now. “I JUST CAN’T DO THIS!!!” She shouts at the top of her lungs, opening the door to the examining room she runs out. She runs towards the exit.

Kitsune hears her scream, sighing to herself she thinks ‘right on cue.’ She walks towards the door, standing directly in front of it.

Naru comes running out looking very haggered. “K-kitsune, I have to leave! I just, I just can’t do this!!!” she says, sounding on the verge of tears. “I, I just can’t… <sob> I just can’t go through with this…” she falls to her knees, tears beginning to roll down her cheek.

“I-is it that you don’t want to have Keitaro’s baby…?” Kitsune asks, kneeling down beside her.

“Of course not!” Naru replies inbetween sobs. “B-but <sob> what if he… what if he… <sob> what if he doesn’t love me because of it!” Naru breaks out into full crying, sobbing her little heart out, her chest heaving with each breath.

Kitsune puts her arm around her, holding her close and letting Naru cry on her shoulder. A tear rolls down Kitsune’s cheek as she whispers into Naru’s ear, “you know that he will love you no matter what happens.” She holds Naru tightly, “and you know that he will stand by you no matter what; he will be so happy to hear he’s going to be a dad! So please, don’t cry Naru, it’s going to be fine.” She says, a few tears leaking out of her eyes.

Naru sobs against Kitsune’s shoulder, she looks up at Kitsune, “w-would you please <sob> come with me into the room… I don’t know if I can do it alone.” She asks, looking beautiful even with tears dripping down her cheeks.

Kitsune smiles warmly down at her, “of course! What are friends for, right?” she says, helping Naru up. She puts her arm around Naru’s shoulder as they walk back to the room together.

They enter the room, sitting on the bed, Naru grabs hold of Kitsune’s hand as the doctor enters the room. She squeezes tightly as the doctor sets his stuff down, turning slowly to face her. Time seems to enter into slow motion through all of this, Naru can hear the beating of her heart loudly, it seems that nothing else exists except the Doctor and her.

“Naru, we completed the test results and…” the doctor says, leading off.


Find out the results in the next part Smile

PostPosted: Mon Jan 10, 2005 7:11 pm
Last edited by Elvis_Maximus (#66405) on Tue Jan 11, 2005 6:32 am; edited 1 time in total
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JoReL (#63371)
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Joined: 01 Dec 2004
Posts: 5
Location: Ann Arbor, MI
 Haha the name thing's cool. It fits well. Ahhhh goin crazy while waiting for the next part.... :shock:

PostPosted: Mon Jan 10, 2005 8:43 pm
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Generic Individual (#60263)
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Joined: 26 Oct 2004
Posts: 445
 Oh ma' god, Keitaro knocked her up.

Honestly, kids these days.
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 11, 2005 8:16 am
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Thalan (#44961)
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Joined: 16 May 2004
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 I just can't wait until the next chapter. Elvis yuo're doing one hell of good work here. I didn't read the last chap at first but damn that one was emotinal.
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 11, 2005 1:39 pm
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Elvis_Maximus (#66405)
AnimeNfo Peasant


Joined: 05 Jan 2005
Posts: 50
 Chapter 08
Really not very many interesting things for me to note in this chapter. Overall I like the way it came out, very touching Smile


It's a touch on the short side, but I felt that I couldn't extend it any longer without it becoming old REALLY quickly.


Personally, moments like these were my favorite part in the Love Hina Manga, so it was really a pleasure for me to write this one Smile





Without further ado, Chapter 08:


Love Hina Manga Extension Project

Chapter 08
Already Sick?!? (Part 3)

“Naru, we completed the test results and…” the doctor says, leading off. ‘My heart feels like its going to explode… my stomach feels as if it’s going to leap into my throat,’ Naru thinks, her face paling slightly, she squeezes Kitsune’s hand tighter.

“You’re pregnant.” The doctor says, his face deadly serious.

The words echo in Naru’s head, the doctor rushes over to her, extending out his arms as everyone seems to get farther and farther away. “Naru hold on…” Kitsune says, her voice sounding distant. Slowly Naru’s vision darkens.

Suddenly she is on the bed, looking up at the ceiling with Kitsune standing next to her, the doctor standing close by also. “W-what happened…?” she says, sounding dazed.

“You feignted” Kitsune replies.

Suddenly, Naru remembers what the doctor said. She looks over at him, “Y-your sure I’m… pregnant…?” she asks, her voice sounding a little shakey.

“Yes, 99.5 % sure to be exact.” The doctor says.

“Keitaro will be so happy!” Kitsune says, her face bright and happy.

Naru smiles hesitantly, thinking about her dreams of having children. She smiles wider, slowly a happy glow settles into her face, replacing the eery paleness of earlier. “C-can I leave now?” she asks, starting to sit up.

“Of course.” The doctor responds, helping her up. “Now remember, be careful not to exert yourself too much.” He says, helping her out the door.

They walk to the train station, both of them still beaming. As the doors close on the train, Kitsune turns to Naru. “How are you going to tell Keitaro?” she asks.

Naru looks away out the window, sighing she says “I just don’t know… I’m so afraid of what he might say. I mean, we weren’t exactly planning this… you know?” She turns towards Kitsune, smiling she says “And yet, I just know that he’ll understand… but still, it worries me.”

Kitsune looks back at her, ‘she’s trying so hard to be strong… but anyone can see that she’s barely holding on,’ she thinks, ‘oh please Keitaro, please don’t screw this one up.’ She smiles, “Don’t worry, I know the words will come to you Naru.” She says reassuringly.

Naru returns the smile, then turns away, tears come to her eyes, they roll down her cheek silently as she worries. ‘Oh please Keitaro… please be happy for us.’

The rest of the train ride is filled by silence, as the train pulls into the station Kitsune gives Naru a hug. They walk out of the train, slowly heading back to the Hinata House. As they reach the stairs, they look at each other, Naru takes a deep breath and nods, and they walk up the stairs together.

As they reach the top Kitsune looks sympathetically at Naru, “Do, do you want me to come with you to tell him?” she asks.

“N-no, but thanks Kitsune, this is something I have to do on my own…” Naru replies, her voice slightly unsteady. She takes a deep breath, opening the front door she finds Keitaro waiting there, with everyone else alongside him.

“Naru, how are you feeling? What did the doctor say?” Keitaro says anxiously.

Kitsune quickly steps up, grabbing all the other Harem residents and pulling them off saying “comon now, let’s go find something more interesting to do!”

“B-But I want to know how Naru is just as much as Keitaro!” Shinobu protests, trying to pull away.

“LATER!” Kitsune harshly whispers to her as she pulls them all out of the room.

“W-What’s wrong Naru? Are you alright? Maybe you should sit down” Keitaro says, noticing Naru’s obviously down mood. He pulls her over to the couch and sits down beside her, holding her hand tightly.

Naru takes a deep breath, ‘this is almost as bad as 4 years ago… but this time I’m not going to make him chase me across the country!’ she thinks to herself. She takes another deep breath, holding Keitaro’s hand tightly. “K-Keitaro, I.. umm… have something to tell you, something very, VERY important…” Naru begins, looking slightly off to the side and down.

Keitaro’s breath catches, he can feel how worried she is about this, he holds her hands tighter, “you can tell me anything Naru…” he says understandingly.

Naru takes another deep breath, looking into his eyes, “K-Keitaro I’m… I’m… I’m pregnant.” She says, searching his eyes for his reaction.

Keitaro’s breath catches again, the world seems to spin ever so slightly. He holds her close to him, “N-N-Naru… are you serious…?” he asks, almost in a state of shock.

She trembles softly against him, “d-do you really think I’d joke about something like this, you idiot.” She says, crying very softly against his shoulder.

“I-I’m sorry Naru, it’s just that this is.. such a surprise.” He answers apologetically. “I-I don’t know what to say but… I, I’m happy. I’ve always wanted to be a dad,” he says, laughing softly, “I just didn’t know it would be so soon.”

Naru pulls away from him slightly, looking up into his eyes, her eyes red from crying so much today. “Y-you mean your not mad at me…?” she says, sniffling slightly.

Keitaro pulls her close again, hugging her tightly against him, “of course not? Why would I be mad at you?” he says, laughing very slightly, “Its like I said at our wedding, I will love you forever, in health and sickness, in poorness and in wealth, till the day we die.”

Naru sobs softly against him, “So, there is no need to cry Naru.” Keitaro says reassuringly. She sniffs, still sobbing, “I’m not crying because I’m sad, you idiot” she says, hitting his chest half heartedly. “Keitaro, love you so much, forever and a day.” She says as he holds her close to him. She pulls away slightly, kissing him softly. He returns the kiss.

PostPosted: Tue Jan 11, 2005 9:10 pm
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Thalan (#44961)
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Joined: 16 May 2004
Posts: 986
Location: Sigtuna, Sweden
 Damn we don't deserve the honor you're granting us by letting us read this Elvis.
I must agree with you that these part of the manga was the best parts.
can't wait until the next one.
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 11, 2005 10:08 pm
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Generic Individual (#60263)
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Joined: 26 Oct 2004
Posts: 445
 Nice chapter.

But - come on - lets have some more craziness!
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 12, 2005 11:52 am
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Elvis_Maximus (#66405)
AnimeNfo Peasant


Joined: 05 Jan 2005
Posts: 50
 Chapter 09
Alright, so I tried to make this one a little lighter. However, its hard to make light of having a baby, so some of the jokes MAY seem a little forced, but go into it with an open mind.

My goal of this series is to have it be balanced between seriousness and crazyness/comedy. Chapters that only involve Naru and Keitaro will have a much more serious tone (as to them having a baby is a very serious thing) but I will try to still have jokes in them. But I refuse to force jokes in at a sacrifice of quality, just as a warning Razz


Anyway, without further ado, I present Chapter 09:





Love Hina Manga Extension Project

Chapter 09
Baby Talk

“I suppose we should tell the others now, huh?” Keitaro asks.

“Y-ya” Naru replies, “could you go get them?” she asks (thought its more like a command).

“Of course.” Keitaro says, leaving the room to find everyone.

‘That went much better than I thought it would’ Naru thinks to herself, ‘I guess there really was nothing to be worried about’ she thinks, smiling brightly. ‘I guess this is just another reason why I love Keitaro so much.’

“Hi Naru!” Su says eagerly, leaping over the sofa back to sit down beside her. Motoko walks in more calmly, seating herself as well. She is followed by Ema, then Shinobu and Kitsune, with Keitaro bringing up the rear.

Naru stands up, holding Keitaro’s hand as the face the Harem. Naru slowly takes a calming breath, Keitaro squeezes her hand softly. “Everyone,” Naru begins, looking confident, “Keitaro and I are going to have a baby!”

The room goes deadly silent, Naru and Keitaro look at eachother awkwardly. Suddenly Keitaro hears the sound of a blade being drawn, then feels a blade at his throat.

“You die today Urashima!” Motoko growls into his ear.

Su nudges Keitaro slightly “You da man Keitaro!” she says excitedly, grinning widely.

Shinobu looks to be in a state of shock, her eyes wide and her face blank. While Ema just blushes whenever she looks at them and looks down at the floor. Kitsune just shakes her head, laughing at the reactions of the other Harem residents.

“Wah! M-M-Motoko don’t kill me!” Keitaro begs, struggling slightly.

“Ahh! Motoko don’t kill him!” Naru says, putting her hands on Motoko’s shoulder. “R-Really its fine, we want to have this baby!” Naru says as Keitaro breaks free.

Keitaro runs away, Motoko sprinting off after him.

‘Ahh damn it. I should’ve known this would happen. Thank god for Keitaro’s invincibility, or I’d be worried about him!.” Naru thinks. Looking around the room, she notices Shinobu sitting there, still looking dazed. Naru walks over to her, sitting down beside her she puts her arm around Shinobu, “Are… are you ok Shinobu?” Naru asks.

Shinobu attempts to smile, though it looks more like a grimace, and lets out a very forced laugh. “I-It’s nothing!” Shinobu says, “I’m just, just tired <ya that’s it!> I, I, I think I’m going to go take a bathroom! I mean go to the nap!” she says, blushing as she runs off.

Naru sighs, Su sitting down next to her. Su looks up at her, grinning mischeviously, “So tell me, was Kei-baby good in bed?” She asks.

“ARGH!” Naru exclaims, throwing her hands up into the air frusteratedly.

Kitsune sits down beside her, sliding a beer over to her, “You can still have a drink right?” She says, winking as she drinks the beer in one gulp.

Naru grudingly opens the beer, drinking it as fast as she can, as soon as she’s done, Kitsune slides another one over. Three empty bottles already beside her, “Thanks” Naru says, drinking it as another one is slid over.

Meanwhile, outside the Hinata House…

“BOULDER CUTTING SLASH” Motoko cries out, leaping at Keitaro and attacking.

“WAHHHH!!!” Keitaro screams as he leaps to the side, barely dodging the strike, holding his own sword out. “HOW DID I END UP DUELING YOU!?!?!?” he exclaims, sounding very confused as he blocks her next attack.

Motoko lets out an evil laugh, “That’s right Keitaro! Fight me! Fight me or die!” she cries, attacking again and again.

Keitaro quickly rolls out of the way, swinging upwards with his sword, striking Motoko firmly across her midsection. “Ha! I win!” Keitaro exclaims, ‘Now I have to get back to Naru!’ he thinks, running back towards Hinata house.

“HE was ~hic~ greattt!” Naru says, leaning over tipsily. “There wash this one night in the ~hic~ bathsh and” She begins, giggling a little to herself.

Su looks away blushing as Keitaro busts into the room. “W-WHA-WHAT ARE YOU DOING NARU???” he screams, looking at the table and seeing 5 empty bottles infront of Naru. He looks over at Kitsune, with 10 bottles in front of her, “YOU GOT MY PREGNANT WIFE DRUNK!?!?!?” he yells.

Kitsune walks over, stumbling slightly, “But she’sh telling us the moshinteresting stories ~hic~. What do you shay that me n’ you go out bacvk and reinact them ~hic~.” She slurs, falling over onto Keitaro.

“Ohhhh no youdon’t!” Naru says, standing up and swaying, almost falling back into her seat. “Hesh mine!” she says, stumbling over and pulling Kitsune off of him, then sitting on hijm. “What do you say Keitaro! Letsh do it right here!” she says, pulling off his shirt.

“N-Naru!” he exclaims, getting up and picking her up. “Let’s get you to bed now, alright?” He says, carrying her back to their room.

Kitsune looks up slowly, waving to Naru she says “you have fun you two!” Then passes out on the floor, Su still can’t meet Keitaro’s eyes, she looks away blushing. ‘That is more than I EVER wanted to know… ever.’ Su thinks to herself.

Keitaro sets Naru into the bed, pulling the covers up around her and tucking her in. “Now Naru, please, just relax and go to sleep alright? I’ll be back later.”

“But Kei~hic~taro, I want you now!” Naru says, pleading.

“N-Naru… umm… go to sleep and after, alright?” Keitaro reasons, blushing furiously. He leaves the room, closing the door tightly. “I wonder where Shinobu went…” he says, remembering hearing her run off as he ran out of the room. He checks her room, not finding her there. “Maybe… to her special place?” he wonders out loud. ‘She hasn’t really used it since she was a kid but… maybe that’s where she is…?’ he thinks to himself, heading to the roof.

He looks up at the roof, seeing Shinobu there he slowly climbs up onto the roof from the sun deck, walking over to her and sitting down. “Hi,” he says awkwardly, thanking god that she wasn’t there for Naru’s play-by-play of the honeymoon nights.

Shinobu turns towards him, tears in her eyes, “I-it’s true, isn’t it?” She asks him.

“Yes, its true Shinobu…” he replies, looking at her caringly.

“D-did you know that I… I always wanted to be with you…?” Shinobu asks, looking into his eyes.

“Yes Shinobu, I knew. And I’m sorry that it didn’t work out that way but, but, I really love Naru and I married her. We’re going to have a child… please, can’t you just be happy for us?” Keitaro asks, looking back at her.

“Of course I’m happy for you but, it still hurts you know?” she stands up, looking off at the surrounding landscapes, “Thanks for coming up here, it means a lot to me,” she says, turning and looking at him and smiling. “I just hope that one day I find someone like you for me” she says, skipping down the roof.

Keitaro looks very confused… ‘no matter how long I live with them, no matter how hard I try… I will NEVER understand women!’ he thinks, sighing to himself. He stands up and walks down the roof, heading back to his room.

He opens the door, seeing Naru sitting up and looking out the window. ‘My god, she sobers up really quick!’

She turns around and looks at him, smiling she asks “Did I really… umm… say that stuff to Kitsune and… Su?” she asks, blushing slightly.

“Yes, unfortunatly…” he begins. His words are cut off by a hit to his head, WHAM! Keitaro flies across the room, hitting the wall and falling down against it, rubbing his jaw.

“HOW COULD YOU LET ME SAY THAT STUFF?” Naru says, blushing a bright cherry red.

“How is this my fault?” Keitaro asks, “I wasn’t even there when you said it!”

Naru sticks her tounge out at him, “doesn’t matter! You shoulda been!” she says immaturely.

Keitaro sighs, “oh that’s right silly me, its ALWAYS my fault.” He replies wryly.

“You got that right!” Naru exclaims, giggling slightly. She walks seductivly over to him, “now… about what I asked for earlier” she says suggestivly.

Keitaro stands up and they go over to the bed, kissing as they lay down. Just as Naru starts to take off his shirt, the door flies open, Kitsune and the rest of the residents standing there. Keitaro and Naru blush bright red as their eyes widen. Kitsune bursts out laughing.

Naru makes a squeeking noise and belts Keitaro across the room, “S-Sorry!” she yells at him.

“WHY ME!?!?!?” Keitaro yells as he flies across the room.

The harem residents look at each other, Kitsune barely holding back more laughter, then look at our young lovers. Smiling they all say in unision “We’re with you guys 100%!”

“Now, if you’ll excuse us,” Kitsune says, “we’ll leave you two alone. We’ll be in the bath!” winking at Naru.

Naru quickly gets up and runs after them, “I swear, its not what you think! W-Well.. alright, it was but… hey, wait up! I want a bath to!” she crys out as she runs after them.

Keitaro lays there on the floor, slightly dazed. He looks around, “where did everyone go?”

PostPosted: Wed Jan 12, 2005 8:21 pm
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Generic Individual (#60263)
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Joined: 26 Oct 2004
Posts: 445
 “YOU GOT MY PREGNANT WIFE DRUNK!?!?!?” heh heh heh

That was a good chapter, a healthy dose of comedy and seriousness - which I guess is what Love Hina has always been about.

That, and pretty girls in towels, of course.
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 12, 2005 9:47 pm
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Elvis_Maximus (#66405)
AnimeNfo Peasant


Joined: 05 Jan 2005
Posts: 50
 I'm sorry
I'm sorry about the lack of a new chapter yesterday, today, or possibly tommorow. Yesterday my computer decided it hated me and didn't want to work. Today and tommorow I'm going to be moving back into the Residence Halls at Colorado State University, so I may not get a chance to write until Sunday. (Plus, I've got some writer's block again Sad)

PostPosted: Fri Jan 14, 2005 6:34 pm
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Thalan (#44961)
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Joined: 16 May 2004
Posts: 986
Location: Sigtuna, Sweden
 Damn you're somewhat like a new Ken Akamatsu ^^. You're doing such a great work here. I'm just saying that if you quit doing this I'l come over to your place and make you it ^^. Okay I won't but I'll be very unhappy Sad
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 15, 2005 6:21 pm
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Elvis_Maximus (#66405)
AnimeNfo Peasant


Joined: 05 Jan 2005
Posts: 50
 Chapter 10
Thanks for the compliment(s) everyone, it really motivates me to keep writing Smile



Anyway, about the chapter:



This is a little on the small side, so I may add more to it. I'm posting it like this because I feel a little guilty about taking so long on it.

Actually, I'm feeling quite sick right now, plus, I couldn't get any dialog beyond this point to sound right to the character (mostly because I feel like I'm going to vomit right now, sorry for the imagery Wink), so here it is; I truly hope you enjoy it:







Love Hina Manga Extension Project

Chapter 10
A Quick Trip

About a month after the harem found out the big news…

“W-what!?!?!? You’re leaving?!?” Keitaro exclaims, looking shocked.

“Oh comon Keitaro, it’ll only be for a few days.” Naru sighs, “I have to tell my parents sometime!”

“B-B-But wouldn’t it be better to just, you know, call?” Keitaro stutters, looking much like a lost puppy.

“Oh relax Keitaro!” Naru says impatiently, rolling her eyes.

Keitaro looks up at her, fairly seriously, “how do you think they’ll take it?” he asks.

Naru looks down and away from Keitaro, thinking, she looks back up at him and brushes a stray piece of hair out of her face. “I really don’t know Keitaro but, but they like you, and they were all for us getting married so I think it will be fine.”

Keitaro holds her hands in his, looking into her eyes, “I’m glad,” he replies, “but, you’d better hurry, or you’ll miss your train!” he says, looking at his watch.

Naru looks at the time, “AGH! My train leaves in 5 minutes!!! You idiot, your gonna make me miss my train!” she yells, punching him across the room as she turns around, running out the door. She smiles to herself, looks over her shoulder and yells “LOVE YOU!”

Keitaro sighs softly, shaking his head to clear the stars from his eyes he looks up, watching her run off. ‘I swear to god, I’ll never figure her out…’ he thinks, chuckling softly.

“Hmm… its good too see that she’s still acting normal” Kitsune says, sounding sagely.

“Ya, I suppose… but what do you mean ‘its good to see?’” Keitaro asks, sounding confused.

“Keitaro?!? Don’t you know anything about what happens to a girl when she gets pregnant?” Kitsune says, sounding shocked.

“W-Well I… they get bigger?” Keitaro says, sounding a little confused.

“Oh Keitaro, sometimes your incredible lack of knowledge still shocks me!” Kitsune says, taking on a lecturing tone. “A lot of things happen in a girl’s body… and the changes can make her a little… ummm… moody…” Kitsune says hesitantly.

“Ohhhhh…” Keitaro says understandingly.

“Great, you understand what I’m trying to tell you?” Kitsune says, sounding relieved.

“Not at all” Keitaro says sheepishly.

Kitsune rolls her eyes and sighs, “Look, let big sister give you a piece of advice! Just, be reallly careful what you say to her, especially when she gets umm… bigger” she says, looking down at the ground.

“Oh comon! Do you really think I’m that dumb?!?” Keitaro exclaims.

Kitsune looks at him, her face blank. Keitaro sighs loudly, throwing his hands up into the air.

“It’s just a friendly warning” Kitsune says, winking as she turns to leave.

PostPosted: Mon Jan 17, 2005 7:52 am
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Generic Individual (#60263)
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Joined: 26 Oct 2004
Posts: 445
 Oooh...nice sort of build-up chapter.

I sense hormonely-induced ultra-violence, cravings and general weirdness on the horizon! Go Go Go!
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 17, 2005 11:14 am
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Thalan (#44961)
AnimeNfo Warrior


Joined: 16 May 2004
Posts: 986
Location: Sigtuna, Sweden
 First you don't have to feel bad about that it took awhile to come with a new chapter. An dI think that everyone agrees with me.
Since your work is so great I would care if it took you more than a week to complete the chapter. I would wait and become very happy when it came.
So take your time. We'll be waiting for you.
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 17, 2005 2:49 pm
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Elvis_Maximus (#66405)
AnimeNfo Peasant


Joined: 05 Jan 2005
Posts: 50
 Chapter 11 (finally)
God, its been ages since I last posted a new chapter (about 2 or 3 weeks). Sadly, now that I'm back in College, I don't have as much time to write the chapters.


Anyway, about this chapter: It's a bit on the short side as I wanted to respect Motoko's personal life and romance a little bit. Maybe I'll write a second fanfic specifically about that Romance, but I don't want to lose focus on the main goal


Anyway, here's chapter 11:

Love Hina Manga Extension Project

Chapter 11
Awkward Romance

Kitsune leaves Keitaro, walking over and finding Motoko looking in a mirror. She watches, giggling softly to herself as Motoko prims and primps herself, even going so far as to put on make-up. “Ooooohhhh what do we have here?” Kitsune shouts, walking into the room with a sly grin on her face.

“AUGH!!! K-Kitsune I.. umm… this isn’t what it looks like I was just; trying a new look that’s all!” Motoko stutters, sounding quite startled.

“So your hoooooot date is tonight eh?” Kitsune says, walking over to her.

“I, uh, umm….” Motoko stutters, “I-w-we are just going out to see a weapons exhibit, that’s all!” she says quickly.

“Ohhhh riiight” Kitsune says, winking knowingly, “just remember, don’t give it up easily.” She says knowningly.

Motoko blushes bright red. Kitsune laughs and leaves the room, waving over her shoulder.

Later that night…

All the Hinata residents line up to see Motoko out the door. “Have fun Motoko!” Keitaro calls out, waving as she leaves.

‘God, why do they have to make such a big deal out of this?’ Motoko sighs to herself, shaking her head softly.

She walks out to the the train, looking at the ground. ‘He said to meet him at the train station… oh my god, what if he doesn’t show up?’ she thinks to herself, worried. ‘That would be so embarassing, to have to go back to the house right away…’ she thinks to herself. She sighs out loud, ‘no, I just have to relax; it WILL be fun’ she thinks angerly, a very serious expression forming on her face.

She walks up to the train station, people taking one look at her face and diving out of the way rapidly. Yajirou sees her coming, he thinks to himself ‘oh shit, she looks angry… oh man, I really hope this wasn’t a mistake.’

‘Oh god, what if she really doesn’t want to be here…? What if she’s just doing this to humor me?’ he thinks to himself, getting very nervous. He takes a deep breath, stepping out in front of her he attempts a smile (it comes off as more of a half smile) and greets her, “Motoko I-it’s good to uh… see you.”

She flushes nervously, ‘oh wow, he looks so handsome’ she thinks to herself. “I-uh.. thanks for inviting me.” She says, stuttering every so slightly. ‘My heart is beating so quickly, why am I so scared of this?’ she thinks, her hand shaking slightly.

‘She looks so beautiful, I-I should tell her that.’ He thinks. “Motoko, you l-l-l-look ve-very…” he begins, he is abruptly cut off by the train conductor “WARNING! The Special Express to Tokyo will be departing shortly, please board the train in an orderly fashion.” “…oh crap, uh, let’s go Motoko!” he grabs her hand and pulls her toward the train. ‘Crap, why can’t I just say it?’ he thinks to himself.

Motoko runs along behind him, letting him lead her to the train. ‘Oh my god, h-he’s holding my hand, does that mean this really is a date?’ she thinks worriedly.

Keitaro and the rest of the harem look on, all of them wearing suspicous dark trenchcoats. Kitsune snickers, watching the train rumble off. “Wow, that was SOOOO awkward…” she says outloud. She nudges Keitaro, “reminds me of another couple from a few years ago” she says, a twinkling in her eyes.

“Ah comon Kitsune, we weren’t THAT bad…” Keitaro replies.

“Oh yes you were Keitaro!” Su exclaims, nudging him from the other side in unison with Kitsune.

“Quit it!” Keitaro says, sounding on the verge of laughing.

“It’s so true! They are exactly like you and you-know-who!” Shinobu says, joining in on the nudging.

“Argh! What are all your guys’ problems!” Keitaro says, quickly jumping over them and running off. The rest of the Harem in hot pursuit. “AW JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!” Keitaro says, scampering away.

PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 3:36 am
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Generic Individual (#60263)
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Joined: 26 Oct 2004
Posts: 445
 Ah, you're back. I'd almost given up hope.

Still - great chapter. Short, but great. More, please - when you have the time.
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 10:55 am
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Thalan (#44961)
AnimeNfo Warrior


Joined: 16 May 2004
Posts: 986
Location: Sigtuna, Sweden
 Finally another chapter. Damn every time I read one of these I get in a good mood. Keep it coming in any pace you want. I just hope that the next one is arriving soon Razz
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2005 5:52 pm
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Zaiz (#53481)
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Joined: 11 Aug 2004
Posts: 119
Location: Sigtuna, Sweden
 go on like this! is really good! and funny of course ^^
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2005 7:57 pm
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Nuhsshun Takamoto (#69832)
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Joined: 14 Feb 2005
Posts: 1701
Location: right were you love me most, on Nfo
 hey what would make this perfec would be to have some1 good at art (esp Ken Akamatsu's art style) and translate it into manga form!!!!! *wishful thinking...* love to see some1 with a good comprehension of the charactors personalities. ill keep up with this post some more...
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 14, 2005 10:34 am
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Elvis_Maximus (#66405)
AnimeNfo Peasant


Joined: 05 Jan 2005
Posts: 50
 Argh!!!!!!!
Ok, so first off an explanation that I owe all of you.


First off, I did realllllly horrible in my first semester at college. So bad, in fact, that I'm on Academic Probation this semester (meaning, if I don't get my grades above a 2.0 in the next 2 semesters, I'm failing out Sad). Because of this, I have been working my ass off in school and haven't been able to keep up with my writing, I apologize to all of you for this (as this was something I was really enjoying doing).


Over spring break, I will attempt to be more vigiliant in my writing, and I'm going to make an effort to try and wrap up this story arc over this week, which means a very harsh writing schedule.

This may or may not happen, but I'll try my best. Once again, my apologies for the time delay

By the way, if any of you happen to know a good artist that would be willing to draw this, I'd really like to turn it into a sort of fan manga.


Anyway, here are some author notes:


Here is another short chapter that I wrote before I had to take a break for school, it's pretty old, and as such isn't full length (I tried to start writing it again today, but alas, just couldn't get back into the rhythmn of this chapter). My next chapter may have a fairly large time jump (though I really wanted to avoid this), but I do not want to bore everyone with the same jokes over and over again to fill in a few months.



Love Hina Manga Extension Project

Chapter 12
Greatful Returns...

“Great breakfast Shinobu,” Keitaro says happily, shoveling the delicious morsels of food into his mouth. The other’s mumble their agreement, eating equally quickly. ‘Finally, today she comes back!’ Keitaro thinks to himself excitedly, ‘…I hope it went well.’

The day passes slowly, seconds turn into minutes, minutes to hours, hours to… well… more hours. Keitaro sits on the couch, watching the clock anxiously.

The door bangs open; Keitaro leaps to his feet, running to the door anxiously. ‘What was it Kitsune said? Oh yeah! Be careful because she’s going to start getting moody… well I’ll make sure to be careful Kitsune! Your advice will not be in vain!’ he says, throwing his hands into the air and looking victorious.

WHAM! “What are you looking so happy about you idiot, my stomach feels like it’s spinning in slow circles and I’m tired and hungry! How dare you look so happy!” Naru says, sounding very huffy.

Keitaro lies there on the floor, dazed slightly. He shakes his head slightly, trying to clear his thoughts and to get rid of those little stars in front of his eyes. He feels Naru’s hands grab his head softly. “Oh god! I’m sorry… I’m SORRY!!!!” he says, preparing himself for the coming punch. Instead, he feels the soft touch of Naru’s lips on his.

“No, I’m sorry Keitaro, I missed you so much, sorry about hitting you.” Naru replies, her eyes looking soft and innocent-esque.

‘Oh my god… what just happened!’ Keitaro wonders, his brain practically shutting down. He lies there on the floor, looking around as the living room slowly comes back into focus, Naru leaning over and kissing him again, then walking away. ‘You have GOT to be kidding me,’ Keitaro thinks to himself, ‘is it gonna be like this all the way through? Even with invincibility, I dunno if I can make it through this…”

Naru goes to her and Keitaro’s room, opening the door she walks in slowly, shutting the door softly behind her. She lies down on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. She chuckles to herself when she sees the hole still where it’s always been, ‘hehe… that hole has been such a problem, but I’m glad it hasn’t gotten fixed… it holds so many memories. I still remember the first time he peeked at me’ she thinks to herself, ‘that little pervert.’ Her eyes slowly close, a few tears leak out as she slowly drifts off to sleep.

“K-K-Keitaro?!?!? What happened!” Shinobu exclaims, running over to help him up.

“Naru is back… looks like Kitsune was right” he replies, a wry grin on his face.

PostPosted: Mon Mar 14, 2005 8:01 pm
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Elvis_Maximus (#66405)
AnimeNfo Peasant


Joined: 05 Jan 2005
Posts: 50
 Chapter 13...
Ok, so this is the first chapter I've written in about two weeks lol, but I think its pretty good. I'm deathly worried that I've lost my more intimate connection with the characters, but I think that I still got it right!

Love Hina Manga Extension Project

Chapter 13
The Day Approaches


“K-Keitaro…” a soft voice whispers from beside him, pushing his shoulder gently. Keitaro opens his eyes, looking over at the clock, “h-honey… it’s only 5:30 in the morning… lemme get a few more hours” he groggily replies, attempting to roll back over.

“So what?!?!? Your saying it’s too early for me!?!?!” Naru shouts, standing up beside the bed.

Keitaro’s eyes open wide, he knows that tone very, very well, “N-n-n-no of course not N-Naru… I just.. uh… just….” He replies, stuttering.

“Just what?” Naru says, hands on her hips.

“W-was too tired and didn’t think correctly?” Keitaro replies hopefully… ‘please don’t hit me, please don’t hit me, please don’t hit me,’ the phrase repeats itself in his head, a sort of litany to himself.

WHAM!!! Naru pushes him right out of the bed and he lands hard on his butt. “Ow Naru… god, please stop that!” Keitaro says, sounding slightly indignant.

“I-I’m sorry Keitaro, it’s just that.. I mean… you know how I get in the morning…” she looks off to the side and at the ground, blushing slightly.

Keitaro sighs softly, “it’s alright Naru, no harm done… right?”

“I guess… uh… Keitaro, I’m getting really big, you think I’m fat, don’t you?” Naru asks, sounding innocent.

‘Oh crap… this is NOT good’ Keitaro thinks to himself, his eyes growing wide like a deer in the headlights, ‘this is such a trap…’ “I-I… uhh…. No, no your not fat at all! I love you and your beautiful!” Keitaro replies, inside his head the sounds of a victory celebration are heard.

“Keitaro! Are you saying that I’m wrong and that I don’t know my own body!!!! Are you trying to invalidate my opinion!” Naru replies, rolling up her sleeves and stretching her arms out.

Keitaro’s jaw drops to the floor, ‘w-what, oh no, this is not good at all. How’d this get turned around on me…?’ he thinks. “N-no, of course not Naru… w-why would I do that?” he replies, throwing his hands up in submission.
“So you think I’m fat?” Naru replies.

“No! Not at all!” Keitaro responds looking paniced.

Naru’s eyes get watery as she drops to her knees, she sniffs slightly, then tears begin to leak out, she puts her head in her arms on the edge of the bed and begins to cry softly.

“N-Naru I, I’m sorry I didn’t mean…” Keitaro begins. Naru’s sobs just get louder in response… ‘not this again’ he thinks to himself.

Angry footsteps can be heard down the hall; the door is flung open by a very angry, very haggard looking Kitsune. “Some of us are trying to sleep off that party last night!” She yells, “so keep it down!!!!”

“B-but Kitsune, we didn’t have any parties last night... you were the only one drinking!” Keitaro responds.

Kitsune turns and stalks out of the room, shutting the door behind her.

Keitaro slowly approaches Naru, kneeling down beside her he hesitantly pats her back. “I-It’s ok Naru… I know this must be hard on you…” he says softly.

WHAM!!!!! Naru punches him across the room, she stands up slowly, walking over to him, “you have NO idea!” she replies, stalking out of the room as well.

‘Only one more month…’ Keitaro thinks to himself, silently praying to survive this.

PostPosted: Mon Mar 14, 2005 8:24 pm
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Thalan (#44961)
AnimeNfo Warrior


Joined: 16 May 2004
Posts: 986
Location: Sigtuna, Sweden
 YAY!!!! Another chapter!!
Great maximus. and I'd say that you don't owe us any apologies, you should worry about yourself you know Very Happy
But it's great to have you back.
Can't really wait til the next chap Very Happy
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 14, 2005 8:24 pm
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Generic Individual (#60263)
AnimeNfo Scout


Joined: 26 Oct 2004
Posts: 445
 Excellent, it continues. Worth the wait, i'd say.

Pretty amusing stuff, especially putting Keitaro in the theres-no-answer-I-can-give-that-won't-end-with-me-being-hit situation.

Personal favourite line: “Some of us are trying to sleep off that party last night!”

I think this is funny, because it continues your amusing trend that - without needing to give any sense of context - it's almost a given that Kitsune will be drunk or hungover in every scene. Heh heh heh.
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Random Thoughts. Anime Thoughts. Drunken Thoughts - http://richardhamer.blogspot.com/

My Anime Reviews. Comes in English and Bad English - http://www.animenfo.com/userstats.php?id=60263&s=anime

PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2005 12:51 pm
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